Darling Lucy

I will not cry for you...

2008-03-13T07:51:00.000-07:00

I will not mourn the best thing that ever happened to me.
I will not weep for my one great love.

It does not matter how it ended, the important thing is that even if it was for a short time, you loved me back. It it was the greatest thing I have ever known. I closed my eyes and jumped and it felt good. I was loved.

I was loved.

That can not be a sad thing.

Only a fool looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.

2008-02-14T07:45:00.000-08:00

Been a minute

2008-02-12T08:22:00.000-08:00

It's been a minute since I've updated so I'll fill you in.
Friday Josh and I went to see his brother John's band play. It was a really fun night. I had a little too much to drink tho.
Today I went to the doc, and got some good news. Maddy is at my mom's most of the day today so I have the whole place to myself and its a level one snow emergency outside so I am snowed in and have freetime to do whatever I want.

I have been putting a lot of thought into getting back into art. I want to paint again. I want to go out and write again. Mostly tho I have been thinking about learning how to draw. That is one thing I have always wanted to do and never tried.

And, Not that I am going to have the money anytime soon... But I have been thinking about tattoos. My left arm still needs to be finished, but it is really close to done. I have an idea for a new thing but dont know where I would put it.

Maddy

2008-02-04T05:32:00.001-08:00

Giants win

2008-02-04T05:11:00.000-08:00

This weekend started off great.
Friday I drove like a madwoman to get to Josh. Got there and had a really good evening with him.
Saturday we woke up and went and got food then to a park to play football in the mud for a while, which was probably the most fun I'd had in a very long time. From there we go to the bookstore where I proceed to pick up a wedding cake magazine and completely trainwreck the rest of the night. Out of the nearly 3 hours of hysterics and crying that ensued next, I took away that though he once wanted to run to the altar with me and not look back, now he isn't ready and probably won't be for a long time. And it's completely my fault. So I am not going to say another word about it untill he tells me I should be talking about it again.

Sunday I woke up there after barely sleeping, got ready and went to see my mom. I stopped and picked Maddy up and took her to play with my dad and Gramma while me and my mom went to Marshals. We hit a joint she had a couple of times on the way which improved my outlook on life a lot. lol. She bought a dress I found for Maddy to wear on easter and got me a jogging suit. It's really cute, and extra comfy.

Lastnight was the superbowl and in he last 5 min The Giants dropped a bomb on New England. I was pretty happy with the outcome.

There in short is my weekend.

I covet your regard.

2008-01-28T12:26:00.001-08:00

See me, and only me

You are all in this world that I need

Touch me, move me, claim my heart

I come undone when we are apart

My only desire is to make you feel

My soul on fire, only you are real

You inspire such extraordinary emotional view

How could I not plummet into devotion of you

Begining

2008-01-28T09:37:00.001-08:00

I have decided to make a new blog. I am going to actually stick with this one, because i found a few old ones and it had a big impact on me to be able to look back and see how much I have changed and grown, and to think about how differently I would handle thoes same situations now. I am going to also try to at least once a month post a new picture of me and of Maddy so I can watch that evolution as well. I Know Josh (my beloved) will be reading, and whoever else randomly comes across this page in the interweb, but I am going to try not to let that have any impact on what I write. I want this to be completely unscripted and unedited. I want a place to say exactly what I feel at the time and to be able to freely express myself. I gave Josh the link to give him a small insight into my cryptic thoughts, pretty much because he is a good boyfriend who trys really hard and I think he deserves it.

At this point in my life, I am a mother to an amazing 4yr old girl named Madeline Xandra (Maddy). I am in a really great relationship with a man I love with my whole heart, Joshua. I am getting ready to start looking for jobs so I can start a savings again. I was supposed to be starting school this month but had to put it off (again) due to finances.

Well there is my answer to the vexing question of "How to begin a blog."

I will update when I feel the need, untill then...